The trick is to keep breathing

Work has been crazy busy lately -- our usual busy time of the year -- but I've got a short respite until after Thanksgiving.

Haven't had a chance to process everything from my Korea trip over the summer, let alone write anything down. When I finally write about what happened and some of my crazy experiences, I may have to create another blog somewhere in the blogosphere because posting under The Hyphenator just doesn't seem appropriate.

For now I'll leave you with a link to the New York Times' "Relative Choices: Adoption and the American Family" blog section.

I've been trying to catch up on my blog reading, and have been reading the NYT posts and the numerous comments during my downtime, which probably isn't the greatest idea because I either end up in tears or pissed off. But I'm glad to see I'm not the only one upset over Tama Janowitz's article/post, "The Real Thing," and the NYT's consoring of readers' comments -- TTR has a blog post that addresses this one and includes some links to other blogs as well.

Finally, The Hyphenator's advice for the day: Look up the correct usage of "their," "they're," and "there" if you don't know!

Day in Pictures

I find this photo and caption disturbing: SF Gate's Day in Pictures .

18 million and growing!

News from Myanmar

"Bloggers in Burma keep world informed during military crackdown"

"Dodging a deadly military crackdown that has killed at least nine protesters, Burmese bloggers are on the front lines, providing news and photos of death and insurrection."

Unfortunately, today authorities in Myanmar have shut down Internet access and some phone landlines, and have been confiscating mobile phones ...

"Myanmar Blocks Internet, Cuts Off Phones"

Fresh Bush flub

"White House: No Cover-Up of Bush's Flub"

The White House has been setting the record a little too straight.

Anyone reading the official transcript of Bush's statement on education Wednesday would see that he said "children do learn."

Except that's not what he said.

Bush flubbed the line and said "childrens do learn" — a particularly embarrassing gaffe given that he was surrounded by young students and talking about the importance of education. It also harkened back to another infamous misstatement, when Bush rhetorically asked "Is our children learning?"

2007 AP Stylebook is here!

My spiral-bound 2007 AP Stylebook was just delivered to my office.

I suddenly have that old back-to-school feeling -- like I used to have with each new school year and the batch of brand-new school textbooks. Books that had never been opened or flipped through, that had that fresh-from-the-printers feel and smell.

I could do without the rust-orange color of the cover, though. But I have to admit that it has a more modern appearance with the large, vertical sans-serif title. Also has a "What's New" page in the beginning that lists the entries that are new, have been changed or updated, or were deleted.

My old one will now be joining my collection of past AP Stylebooks at home.

Marriage Brokering Booms in Vietnam

Heard this segment on NPR yesterday:

"In Vietnam, an increasing number of young women are now marrying foreigners through marriage brokers. Last year, more than 10,000 Vietnamese women married men from South Korea alone. But the marriages are often ploys for cheap labor and abuse."

Oops, he did it again ... and again

"Bush Has Bad Day at Theater"

Protest to end overseas adoption

I wasn't able to attend this protest but some friends of mine were there. Glad to see it covered in the news. Wish the article had included some photos.

"Korean adoptees from abroad and birth mothers protest overseas adoption"

Other news ...

"Korean adoptees seek identity through community"

And NPR had a segment on this as well ...

"Korean Adoptees Examine Origins, Upbringings"

Kitty of death or comfort kitty?

"Oscar the Cat Predicts Patients' Deaths"

Adoption in America

NPR is running a four-part series on adoption, including segments on transracial and overseas adoption, this week on the "Morning Edition" program. If you don't catch it on the radio, you can listen to the segments online on NPR.org (the sound files are more extensive than the text on the Web pages).

"Adoption in America: A Series Overview"

"An adopted child changes a family forever.

That's what we'll hear from conversations this week on Morning Edition about adoption in America. Four families and adoptees have learned that it's not just family photos that change -- but entire family trees, family traditions and family stories that are altered by an adopted child's own story. We've asked them to reflect on their experiences with adoption, and share the stories that define who they have become."

"Mother and Son Offer Transracial Adoption Insights"

"Judy Stigger and her husband are white. Almost three decades ago, they adopted two biracial children. Their youngest adopted child, Aaron, is now 26. Judy and Aaron explain how their life together was more about learning inclusiveness as an interracial family than about rooting out prejudice."

I love this part:

"If you're a very private person, this is probably very hard to do because people are curious and do ask how much the baby cost and whether or not that's one of those crack babies," Judy Stigger says. "The questions are amazing that people feel free to ask."

People asked those questions because the Stiggers are white. And in Chicago -- almost three decades ago -- they adopted two children who are biracial.

Judy Stigger had to decide what to say when those questions came up.

"People would say, 'Do you have any real children?'" She would turn to her adopted son, Aaron, and say, 'No, I just have this plastic one,' and Aaron would hold his arms out and say, 'Ta-da!'"

Judy Stigger is director of international adoption at The Cradle, a private, non-profit, Illinois adoption agency. She helped form an affiliated educational group called Adoption Learning Partners, where she created the content for an online workshop called Conspicuous Families: Race, Culture and Adoption.

The NPR pages also include other resources and information (be sure to listen to the sound file for "A Family Tree's Special Roots," which deals more with feeling exposed), as well as links to past segments on adoption.

Reunited with the help of Facebook

Nice reunion story ...

"Facebook Helps Mom Reunite With Son"

Good to be home

My husband and I were back in the Midwest for almost a week, but now we're back home in San Francisco. At a family get-together, someone asked my husband if he considered San Francisco or the Midwest his home. I thought about the answer to that myself and realized San Francisco is now home after three years (I also kept saying "soda" instead of "pop" when I was back in the Midwest). The Midwest is where our families live, but California is our home.

After being the only nonwhite person in many situations, it's sooooo nice to be home and not be surrounded by a sea of white people (not to mention religious freaks), people asking where I was from and knowing they probably weren't satisfied when I replied with "San Francisco." I guess my mother-in-law had mentioned our upcoming travel plans to guests, so when they heard we were going to Korea, you could almost see the lightbulbs going off -- "Ah ha!"

This morning I saw the following article on SFGate.com and couldn't help but smile ...

"California: Hispanics expected to be state's majority by 2042; Alameda County to have top proportion of Asian Americans"

Poppa culture

Jeff Yang and the dads from the Rice Daddies blog on being an Asian-American pop and Father's Day ...

"Asian Pop: Poppa Culture"

Nisei in WWII

SF Gate has an interesting article today on American-born children of Japanese immigrants and their roles during World War II:

"Secret Revealed: Nisei's WWII Role"

They were enrolled in a secret Japanese language school to train military interrogators and translators.

Though Japan's surprise attack on Pearl Harbor was more than a month away, deteriorating relations between the two countries had prompted the War Department to comb the Army ranks for potential linguists. They were known as nisei, the American-born children of immigrants.

Now, the National Japanese American Historical Society is starting a fundraising campaign to build a museum at the Presidio honoring the nisei linguists -- while the men are still alive. Military historian James McNaughton, who recently published "Nisei Linguists: Japanese Americans in the Military Intelligence Service," will speak Wednesday at the Presidio about the veterans and their story.

If you're in the area ...

At the end of the article, it states that McNaughton will read from his book Nisei Linguists: Japanese Americans in the Military Intelligence Service during World War II at 5:30 p.m. on Wednesday at Crissy Field Center in the Presidio. Veterans will also share their experiences.

Ahh, the pressure!

An article from CNN ...

"Push to achieve tied to suicide in Asian-American women"

Some interesting points:

"Asian-American women ages 15-24 have the highest suicide rate of women in any race or ethnic group in that age group. Suicide is the second-leading cause of death for Asian-American women in that age range."

"First and foremost, they say 'model minority' pressure -- the pressure some Asian-American families put on children to be high achievers at school and professionally -- helps explain the problem."

"Family pressure often affects girls more than boys, according to Dr. Dung Ngo, a psychologist at Baylor University in Texas. 'When I go talk to high school students and ask them if they experience pressure, the majority who raised their hands were the girls,' he said."

Perhaps pressure would help explain this case:

"Wannabe freshman outwits Stanford"

I'd like to know what the statistics are for Asian-American boys and men, particularly adoptees. About 10 years ago, a close male friend committed suicide. I know another who tried. Both Korean adoptees.

In my friend's case, I'll never know for sure of course what led him to his decision, but I can think of two factors in his life that contributed to his depression: a profound sense of grief and loss surrounding his adoption, and unfortunately, rejection from his love interest, a Korean adoptee who wasn't attracted to Asian men.

In the latter case, I know there had been pressure from his parents to change his major in college. He wanted to be a writer. They thought he should go into business or finance.

I was fortunate, I guess. My parents supported my choice in majors in college -- once I actually decided on one.

Going home

I was planning to go back home to visit family in July for a wedding open house, but looks like I'll be returning home much sooner for a memorial service instead.

The open house was canceled, and last night I found out my aunt died on Sunday. I was about an hour and a half away from the city, and on the drive back, I basically cried the whole way home.

I keep thinking about how much influence my aunt had on my life and career. She first introduced me to editing, design and fonts -- and this was before computers and Quark XPress. Years ago, my aunt and uncle owned a small magazine, and I stayed with them one summer, working at their office.

I remember sharing with her the joys of brownies, shopping 'til we dropped, and learning to crochet. Then there were the family camping trips to my aunt and uncle's lake property in Wisconsin, and spending weekends at her house, which was always a major treat.

And I blame her for my Coke addiction. (Man, was she relieved when Coca-Cola came out with Coke Classic after its new Coke fiasco.)

She called me her "favorite niece" -- granted, I was her only niece -- and she was my favorite aunt.

I can't believe she's gone.

I feel so bad for my cousin. As the only child of an only child, she doesn't have much family left. Since moving to San Francisco, I haven't kept in touch as much as I should have.

My parents said I didn't have to fly back for the service, but I want to go home -- I need to go home.

CNN on Asian Pacific American Heritage Month

CNN has some special coverage this month for Asian Pacific American Heritage Month. It even has a special section (oooh, aahhh) on its Web site -- Uncovering America: The Asian-American Journey.

Baby deposit

"Japan Has Drop Box for Unwanted Babies"

A Japanese hospital opened the country's only anonymous drop box for unwanted infants Thursday despite government admonitions against abandoning babies.

The baby drop-off, called "Crane's Cradle," was opened by the Catholic-run Jikei Hospital in the southern city of Kumamoto as a way to discourage abortions and the abandonment of infants in unsafe public places. The hospital described it as a parent's last resort.

A small hatch on the side of the hospital allows people to drop off babies in an incubator 24 hours a day, while an alarm will notify hospital staff of the new arrival. The infants will initially be cared for by the hospital and then put up for adoption.

When I was in Italy, I saw an old building that had been used as an orphanage. The building had a revolving drop box for babies. I read that there was some kind of system to alert the nuns who ran the orphanage that a baby had been left in the box.

Heroes

Amazing animal stories ...

"Dogs, cat honoured for heroism"

"Three dogs and one cat were inducted into the Purina Hall of Fame for feats of bravery and determination that saved lives."

Go to jail. Go directly to jail.

Ha! Paris Hilton will be living the real "simple life" for 45 days. A judge ordered her to jail for 45 days for violating her probation. Guess her parents' money couldn't bail her out of this one.

"Paris Hilton sentenced to 45 days in jail"

"Hilton wept and her mother, Kathy, yelled at the prosecutor, "You're pathetic," as the packed courtroom cleared.

"The stunning decision capped a two-hour hearing in which prosecutors argued that Hilton was thumbing her nose at the court and seeking to be placed above the law, while defense lawyers said she was being singled out for harsh treatment because of her celebrity."

She's lucky she didn't have her ass thrown in jail the first time she got pulled over after her alcohol-related reckless driving incident.

Dumb ass.