Greetings

The folks at Shoebox have put out a new book with the sentiments that didn't quite make it onto a greeting card.

The NPR segment reminded me of the difficult time I have buying cards sometimes, especially around Mother's Day and Father's Day. Everything usually sounds too lovey-dovey. Often, it's hard to find a plain card that wishes the recipient a happy day. No, it's usually "I looooove you! Thanks for all the wonderful memories growing up." Blah, blah, blah. **Hurl**

So I came up with some greeting card sentiments I'd like to see ...

"Mom/Dad, Happy Mother's/Father's Day! Without your love and support, I'd be ... exactly where I am now."

"Mom/Dad, Happy Mother's/Father's Day! Bet you'd like to have returned me when I was a kid, but hey, you get what you pay for."

"Mom, Happy Birthday! I always knew deep down that, despite what you said, you were a racist bigot."

"Dad, Happy Birthday! I'm so glad I married a guy who's so not like you."

"Congratulations on your new home! Glad it's 1,586 miles away from mine."

"Brother, Happy Birthday! Thanks for hitting me all those years and putting me down every chance you got. It's made me a stronger person ... who thinks you're an a--hole."

"Brother, Congratulations on your graduation and good luck at college! Don't let the door hit you in the a-- on your way out."

"Congratulations on your graduation! Here I thought you were set on a career of being a permanent student."

"Brother, Congratulations on your marriage! God help your wife."

"Merry Christmas! I'm sorry I can't be home for the holidays ... Well, not really."

"Congratulations on your new baby! Thank god she doesn't look like her father."

"Congratulations on your wedding! I have a year to buy you a gift, right? (If your marriage lasts that long.)"

"Sympathy for the loss of your husband/wife. You couldn't take it anymore, could you?"

"Good luck at your new job! And good riddance!"


Feel free to share your ideas for greeting cards.